All geeks know that there is one question that we should always have an answer to, no matter who is asking, when they’re asking, or how they choose to ask it. That question?
If you had ONE power, what would it be?
My answer is lame in that it is boring and somewhat predictable, but I give it every time – the Power of INVISIBILITY. Oh, the things I would do with that power! (My fantasy is to sneak into the members of congress abodes wearing a sheer white sheet, with holes cut into them for eyes, and playing Ghost of Christmas Past/Present/Future until I scare them into working together for once.) Sure, the ability to control the elements and rain down hellfire upon all who oppose me (or cut me off in traffic) would be WAY cool in theory… but, then, who is stuck with the cleaning bill? Now, if I could be invisible while raining downeth the helleth-fire, I would be unstoppable; and, I wouldn’t care so much about the cleaning bill.
The reason I bring this up is because, as usual these days, I have had the Jodi Arias trial on my mind. I appreciate the Devil’s Advocate every now and then and I just wanted to ponder what it would take for me to actually buy into The Jodi Arias Defense. What would it take for me to say, “I believe her,” I wondered. After thinking about the facts of the case, it dawned on me what power Jodi Arias would likely choose if the Fairy Goddess of All Magical Powers appeared to her one night in her cold, dank jail cell (I like to think of it as a dungeon, really) and asked her the one question that every geek (and millions of others) would just die to hear, “If I could grant you just one power, what would it be?”
Jodi’s Answer: Mind Control.
While Mind Control can be defined in different ways, depending on the creative mind that backs it, it is basically what the title suggests: the power to force another being to do something by thought or command involuntarily. THIS is the super power Jodi Arias needs in order to convince me (and many others) that the way that she claims the events of June 04, 2008 unfolded actually happened.
If you are new to the case, Jodi Arias killed her on again/off again boyfriend, Travis Alexander, and is now standing trial for his murder. Arias claims that she killed Alexander in self defense after months of physical and psychological abuse. She says she has Battered Women’s Syndrome and PTSD. The prosecution contends that she premeditated his murder and killed him in a jealous rage. Arias faces the death penalty.
To give Arias the benefit of the doubt is to engage in such a rigorous form of “suspension of disbelief” that you, yourself, may lose control of your own mind and end up in the loony bin, complete with drool on your chin and a lovely, starch-white straight jacket to aid in giving yourself long, warm hugs. (Cozy!)
Here is what we must believe in order to give Jodi Arias the benefit of the doubt in this case:
- It really was just a coincidence that a gun of the same caliber, used in the murder, was “stolen” from her home mere days prior to killing Alexander. (Investigator says robbery looked staged.)
- It really did take 5 hours to get her nails did. (And, she didn’t get her hair dyed from Blonde to Brunette on the way to Arizona)
- That guy at the rent-a-car place is just colorblind and couldn’t tell the difference between blonde and brunette when he said that she was blonde when she picked up the car.
- The real reason she didn’t want that red rent-a-car is because she didn’t want to get a ticket. You know, because somehow, a red car controls how fast you drive.
- She simply forgot that the whole purpose of borrowing/buying gas cans was so she could get cheaper gas out of the state of California. That’s why she filled up the cans in California. Duh!
- Although she bought a gas can from Wal-Mart and paid for it with her credit card, she actually took that gas can back and received a cash refund for it.
- It’s just an oversight that Wal-Mart has no records of anyone returning a gas can that day.
- A roving band of license plate flippers, on skateboards, flipped her license plate.
- Travis begged her to come see him after he called her an evil sociopath and told her that she was the worst thing that ever happened to him.
- She lost her charger and her phone went dead just before she entered AZ.
- Using her credit card everywhere else but AZ doesn’t look suspicious.
- Travis cut rope in the bathroom instead of measuring it to fit the bed in the bedroom.
- Travis’s bed was good for tying someone to it, even though it was a SLEIGH bed.
- Although she had destroyed his BMW, and he suspected her of slashing his tires twice, dropping Travis’s camera pissed him off enough to want to kill her. (I mean, OBVIOUSLY the camera still worked – oops.)
- She was so slick with her ninja-like moves that she ran into the closet, passed a bench, climbed flimsy shelves and grabbed a gun, in a MANIC dash to save her life, and not one thing was shoved, pulled, or kicked out of its place.
- Doing number 15 was actually easier than running down the stairs and out of the house.
- Doing number 15 made sense, even though she had no clue if the gun was loaded.
- She took Travis on 1 vs. 1, with no element of surprise, and only walked away with small cuts on her fingers.
- She shot Travis first, although the Medical Examiner said that he could not have been shot first due to the bullet in his brain being debilitating.
- She doesn’t remember anything about the stabbing, even 5 years later.
- It’s possible to remember how you “felt” during an act even if you have no clue what happened during the commission of said act.
- She, coincidentally, “came to” right before hitting a known checkpoint and saw her hands covered in blood and she was barefoot.
- She “must have” stopped in AZ to get gas and paid cash.
- No one wondered why a women covered in blood was walking around barefoot when she paid for the gas.
- It’s reasonable to “just know” you killed someone when the last thing you remember is that they were alive – but, still, you don’t remember killing them.
- She magically found her phone charger under her car seat after leaving AZ.
- All of those transactions in Utah that look like it was for gas, weren’t actually for gas.
- She only lied about not being there because she was scared.
- She only lied about the ninjas doing it because she was scared.
- Although the ideas of being put to death and/or spending the rest of your life in prison are scary ones, she’s not lying anymore.
- “Defending” herself from Travis gave her PTSD.
- It is normal for someone with PTSD to willingly be around things that remind them of the trauma; and behave normally – Talking to mutual friends, going to the house the “trauma” took place, asking repeatedly to see the crime scene photos, etc.
- Hiding behind and sleeping under your ex’s Christmas tree is normal.
- Repeatedly showing up uninvited to your ex’s house is normal.
- Peeping through your ex’s windows is normal.
- Hiding in your ex’s closet is normal.
- Climbing through your ex’s doggy door to gain access to their house is normal.
- Sleeping on your ex’s couch when they don’t even know you are there, and didn’t invite you over, is normal.
- 33-38 is just “normal stalking” and signs that someone is simply not ready for the relationship to end.
- It’s not really stalking unless someone files for a restraining order.
- It’s normal, NOT jealousy, to drive hours to confront an ex-boyfriend’s new potential love interest.
- Travis was stuck in a 1970’s time warp and had to get his child porn in print form.
- Everything she said she didn’t like about sex with Travis is true.
- Having low self-esteem means pre-signing a manifesto in case you are famous for committing murder one day and thinking you’re Einstein-genius and that your art is good enough to hang next to Picasso’s and Van Gogh’s.
- A bunch of other stuff that I am surely forgetting.
46. Your boyfriend wrapping his arms around you, holding you close in front of friends while he tells a story, is not a public display of affection.
47. That lady from Tesoro doesn’t know how to read her own company’s gas receipts.
48. Deanna Reid really was “the crazy one.”
49. It’s possible to selectively delete incriminating photos (ONLY) in a trauma-induced fog.
50. Darryl Brewer was hallucinating and only thinks that Jodi told him she needed the gas cans because she was taking a trip to Arizona, TWO DAYS PRIOR to going to Mesa.
Yup. Jodi Arias had better hope that magic is real because that may be her only hope. But… of course, all the state would have to do is provide the jurors with mind control protection helmets and all of her granted powers would be for naught! (muwaha.)
The Jodi Arias trial is on hiatus until Tuesday April 23, 2013. The state will continue its rebuttal case at 9:30am MST.
- Jodi Arias Now Claims Murder Was All an Illusion (wordrat.wordpress.com)
- Jodi Arias Trial: Expert Witnesses for the Defense (anotherpov.wordpress.com)