Why Travis Alexander being a …. Doesn’t Matter

For a while now, I have been wanting to write about why the fact that Travis Alexander wasn’t the perfect gentleman doesn’t matter and this blog post inspired me to go ahead and do it.


I suppose prosecuting attorney Juan Martinez is planning to use domestic violence expert Alyce LaViolette’s remarks about “Snow White” and domestic violence as a way to call her a man-hating bitch in a desperate attempt to try and salvage his murder one case. It might also be he is going through the motions of a cross-examination knowing the murder one charge was lost a long time ago, with the introduction of the phone sex tape and text messages by the defense. What I cannot understand is why people can’t seem to believe that Jodi Arias was an abused woman. No, most abused women don’t kill their abusers, but one of the major reasons women are incarcerated for murder is because of domestic violence situations. ALL of the evidence in this trial points to domestic abuse. ALL of it. Does that mean Travis Alexander deserved to die in such a hideous manner? No, but his treatment of Jodi, confirmed through the documentary record, give us an understanding why she felt desperate enough to do what she did.

The thing that strikes me most about this post is just how much it reminds me of a time when a murdered or raped woman’s character was put on display in order to make the jury question the actions of the victim versus the actions of the culprit. What was she wearing? Was she sleeping around? Was she a bitch?  Maybe she deserved it. Remember the heat Bill O’Reilly took for suggesting that a young murder victim was partially to blame for being raped and murdered? (Interestingly enough, Alyce LaViolette spoke about this brand of victim-blame while on the stand. Perhaps victim-blaming/shaming is only wrong when it comes to women.)

There seems to be a mentality among a significant segment of the population that, if a victim isn’t all unicorns and sunshine or if they make wrong decisions (like jogging a wooded trail alone or leaving their bedroom window open), they deserved their fate. It doesn’t always manifest itself in the same way, however. For instance, people who feel that Travis Alexander had it coming may not be (and are probably not) the same people who agree that a young rape and murder victim played a part in her own demise; but, their mentality is very much the same in that they both hold the victims accountable in some way.

The individual who “penned” the blog post that sparked my own blog entry asked why people find it hard to believe that Arias was a survivor of abuse. I think the phrase she is looking for there is “no credibility.” Jodi Arias’s “credibility bank” is not only empty, but it’s overdrawn. This leaves us with examining independent evidence such as those emails and text messages. The problem with that is that people have different ways of reading things. When I read Alexander’s text messages, it comes across as someone who is reacting to another’s action. When he went off about her leaving an item behind, it comes across as a pattern that he is fed up with. He clearly finds her to be a manipulative individual. Also telling is that when LaViolette pointed to the way that Alexander spoke to other women, those interactions were mostly about his sexually flirtatious nature, which made the Mormon women he was talking to uncomfortable. None of it had to do with him calling them outside of their names or things like “sociopath.”

So the question is, would it have been best if Travis had just ignored Arias altogether? Yes, but just like LaViolette says that women stay involved in bad/abusive relationships for their own emotional reasons, the same thing can happen with men. Men DO stay in toxic relationships with abusive, obsessive, and jealous women all of the time. Men also do not tend to take women seriously when they are stalking them. In example, a recent episode of Dr. Phil featured a young woman who was seeking help due to her being obsessed with a guy she had broken up with. The guy in that case would also talk to and see her, even with knowing how obsessed she was. People don’t always make the best decisions.

While I feel like LaViolette’s testimony highlights gender inequalities that negatively impact men, that is not the primary reason I feel that Travis being a …. doesn’t matter. It’s because it doesn’t “undo” other facts in the case.

My original response to Susan’s blog entry:

Travis Alexander was not the perfect murder victim. He did have a load of problems – but so did Jodi Arias. This is evident from the fact that even her own parents weren’t shocked that she was being considered for the murder. Jodi was a strange person. Jodi had mental problems. Jodi flipped out on her mother. Jodi would hit her mother for no reason. Jodi treated her mother like crap. Jodi would be fine one minute and crying hysterically the next. Jodi was obsessed with Travis. Jodi climbed through Travis’s doggy door. Jodi was found hiding in Travis’s closet.

Jodi was 1000 miles away and did not have to go to AZ. She had full control over that action, but she went because she was obsessed with Travis and the only thing that would end that obsession was him no longer breathing. For all of this talk about Travis being afraid of losing Jodi, where was the evidence of him pursuing her? He was scheduled to visit her in CA, wasn’t he? Didn’t he cancel that? That isn’t the hallmark of a man who doesn’t want to let go. Talk to REAL female DV victims. The man always goes to the woman to get her back. Always. Nowhere in those texts does Travis ask Jodi back. To the contrary, he states that he’s glad to be moving on and had plans to go out of the country with another woman.

I also find it interesting that you say that “all of the evidence” points to domestic violence. Intriguing. What about a gun of the same caliber being “stolen” from Arias’s home days prior to Alexander being killed points to DV? What about not telling anyone she was heading to AZ sounds like DV? What about her making sure that there were no records of her in AZ sounds like DV? What about dying her hair on the trip down sounds like DV? What about borrowing and buying gas cans so that there are no records of her buying gas in AZ sounds like DV? What about anything she did to cover up the crime after the fact sounds like DV?

When her mother asked her if she was in AZ, Arias’s response was that she had gas receipts to prove that she wasn’t. How many people, who aren’t business owners or on business trips, care about saving gas receipts? Consider that she had a well traceable paper trail before and after her trip to AZ. She used credit cards everywhere else, and conveniently her phone is dead/off the entire time she is there. How does any of that EVIDENCE not sound like premeditation? If this were a man being accused of killing an ex-girlfriend, would you see this evidence as anything other than what it is?

Finally, her explanation of how the crime happened is entirely improbable. How she managed to take on a man 1 on 1 and only walk away with some small cuts (if you buy her story) and a bruised head that she has no evidence of, is remarkable when you consider the damage to Travis’s body. Not to mention that the ME’s findings state that Travis was shot last. She wants us to believe that she “came to” in the desert with her hands covered in blood and barefoot, when no blood was found on any doorknobs. She also wants us to believe that she had to stop for gas on the way out of the state, and since she didn’t use any credit cards, she had to pay cash. A barefoot woman covered in blood certainly would have stood out, don’t you think?

I have seen cases with far less evidence result in murder 1 convictions. If Arias gets anything less than that, it will be because she is a woman who killed a man, and not vice versa. Look at the Scott Peterson trial – case was entirely circumstantial, but it’s OK to use common sense when convicting men. With women, many people want a Point A to Point Z road map with every alphabet in between covered.

And that’s why Travis being a …. doesn’t matter.


10 Comments to “Why Travis Alexander being a …. Doesn’t Matter”

  1. I so agree with everything you’ve written here.

    There’s an article online by Alyce LaViolette where she outright states she feels women are very rarely abusive and, if they are, they’re not nearly as capable of inflicting any serious emotional or physical damage. The idea that Jodi was abused has absolutely no base at all! For all her photo taking, she never once took a personal photo for her own records of any bruises or injuries? Or confided in one single friend about the abuse?

    Jodi lied about her “Laws of Attraction” and that she was not supposed to say or think anything negative about Travis. That’s not how the Law of Attraction works – it’s taking responsibility for your own actions, recognizing bad situations and stepping away from them so you can find a more positive place in your life. In no way does it state anyone should stay in a bad situation and just “think positive thoughts”…Jodi knows she’s full of it when speaking about it.

    All the evidence points to pre-meditation. Yes, it’s possible a lot of Jodi’s actions both before and after Travis’ murder were purely innocent and coincidental but, it is not probable. What is probable is that all these actions, when taken together, prove pre-meditation. Funny how she got into a physical altercation with her cellmate and also said that was self defense…she’s got a BS story for everything.

    Travis’ texts to Jodi show a man who was pushed to the brink of his tolerance and utterly frustrated. I’m sure he was just as frustrated with himself for not having the strength to rid himself of Jodi completely. The flesh is weak. I hope she rots in a prison cell, where she belongs.

  2. This is so true! Jodi should pay for taking a persons life but I see abuse. And I see Juan Martinez as an abuser. I bet his wife is afraid of him, he is a classic abuser. I have been abused and I see it in Juan, he is not intelligent enough to use anything but abuse. I want Jodi to pay but Juan is so stupid all he can use is abuse. Lol. She would get the chair if Juan was smart enough to argue the case without his abusive ways. Shame on you Juan.

    • Juan Martinez is hard on her like he is with all witnesses. I know you aren’t suggesting that he treats her with kid gloves because she is a woman? That certainly would not look like anything other than gender inequality to me. Martinez is also far from “stupid.” He is 14-0 in trying cases like this one. (15-0 when it’s all over.) Does it not bother you that ALV refuses to answer any questions? If she was so solid in her beliefs, it wouldn’t be a problem, but she feels this need to explain herself with every single answer she gives. It surely can’t be endearing to the jury. So, yea ALV needs to put her big girl panties on, build a bridge, and get over it. She is sinking her career over a pathological murderous liar. Good going.

    • Juan Martinez is speaking passionately on behalf of a man who was brutally murdered, via a gun shot to the head, 27 stab wounds and a throat slashed so deeply he was almost decapitated…all courtesy of Jodi Arias. JM does his job well and he does it with passion. In no way is he abusive…that’s a ridiculous, unfounded statement you made.

  3. thank you for agreeing with me.. the only thing you left out was her renting a car that wouldn’t draw attention, I also think that travis may have put up with so much is because she was holding the recordings over his head. I think he may have been trying to get back on her side to get her evidence. just my thought..

  4. The very reason it is important to know who Travis Alexsander really was and to go into rather he abused women or not is because Jodi is trying to claim self defense. Therefore it is important for the Jurors to hear things about Travis we may not want to hear. Can’t leave things about the victim out when the nut is trying to say she acted in self defense. We all know she did not act in self defense. But chin up if you are going to watch this trai, I
    t all rest on rather she acted in self defense. This is her claim and its just the way it works. this is her defense so Travis’s actions have to be brought in. The emails from his two friends exsist, they are real not made up. . He came from an abusive childhood, his opinion of woman is very questionable. Not just Jodi but other woman. Did he lead Jodi on yes he did imo . because you do not tell someone its over and then keep any hope alive in them that its not over by having sex with them. That is misleading to a person. I have no reason to think he was not some what abusive . But I do not think Jodi was acting in self defense that day. .

    • JA herself said that their relationship was friends with benefits. I am one of those people who think that you shouldn’t be in friends with benefits relationships because, inevitably, one person ends up having feelings and the other is left looking like the jerk because all they wanted was sex. With THAT said, you really can’t blame the person who is upfront and tells their FWB that they have no intentions of being anything other than sex buddies because it’s not like they are mind readers and know that the other person really is only having sex with them in hopes that they can get together. If Travis hadn’t been upfront with her about his intentions, then I would agree with you that he led her own, but he was upfront about it and at that point it was up to Arias to decide if she wanted to waste her time on a guy who didn’t want more with her. Regarding the emails from Chris and Sky, it is quite out of context to say that TA was “abusive to women.” As Mormons, the fact that TA flirted with a lot of women could be seen as “abusive” by them. This is why it would have been helpful for ALV to actually SPEAK with them and get some background on the relationship and to ask them directly why they felt TA was abusive to women. They also could have been trying to just get JA to take her sights off of TA and to “move on.” I think I read that they had warned TA away from JA too, at some point. There is a reason his friends knew right away that JA was the one who had slaughtered him. But, yea, as I said. Even if he was a class A jerk, it doesn’t undo the premeditation and it doesn’t make her story of how she killed him any more probable, so she is screwed.

  5. I am female who had a male I loved have a female with an agenda trash him to keep the kids to herself and insisted that a mom should never be expected to contribute any money to a child’s upbringing. Basically the man pays all and never sees the children and the woman gets the kids but no sacrifices needed. She was beautiful and played sweet but if you checked on her she constantly lied to get her own way. She really thought flattery was all that was expected of her in life. I think that men are abused in many ways by females but we assume if ot physical then it does not count. Slander and financial abuse is abuse too.

  6. Even if Jodi is all of the terrible things that you all believe are true (which I do not), then Travis had bad judgment for
    playing her for sex and money. If any of you have ever watched the “Fatal Attraction” series on Animal Planet, these
    people keep wild animals, like tigers, leopards, etc. then get into the cages with them and end up dead. I know this may be somewhat of an odd analogy, but I do not have much sympathy for Travis Alexander. He was telling all of his
    friends she was a stalker and a sociopath; then why invite someone like that into your house at 3:00 a.m. All of us have to be responsible for our own actions and the company we keep. Example, If I start writing to a man who is in prison for a violent rape, then take up with him when he gets out, what can I expect. Also, on another note, Jodi’s parents are crap. What parents immediately throw their kid under the bus, (like telling the detective, oh I asked her if she killed him). Who does that? Parents who have been crap for parents and feel guilty about it. Did they ever try to get her any help. NOT.

    • I am waiting for this proof that Travis “played” Jodi, or used her at all. When you are an ADULT and you agree to a friends with benefits relationship, you cannot then turn around and claim that you were used. That’s not how it works in the real world. If Travis was going around claiming that she was the only one for him, and telling her that they could be together one day, etc, all with the intentions of dumping her once he found a “suitable” woman to marry, then I would agree that he used her. But you can’t use the willing. She willingly agreed to just be his fuck buddy. Even if Travis had played her, it wouldn’t be a killing offense. As far as your analogy about the violent rapist, would you want him to pay for his crime to the fullest extent of the law, or would you just roll over and say, “I was dumb so he should be let back on the streets in a few years?” (You know, so he can do it again to another woman.) Your answer will surely say a lot about you. I like how you are doing exactly what I laid out in this blog entry though, blaming the victim. Do you blame the Steubenville rape victim for being raped too? Are you one of those types to say, “well she should not have gotten drunk if she didn’t want people to place things into her vagina without her permission”? Just curious.

      Anyway, we only have JA’s word that she told Travis that she was coming to his house. There is nothing to suggest that he invited or begged her to come, other than her own words. And we all know what that shit is worth. Given the steps she took to cover her tracks, it would fly in the face of reason to believe that she would risk telling him that she was on the way on the off chance that he told one of his roommates or a friend that she was about to visit.

      Furthermore, you clearly have no clue how difficult it is to get someone who is mentally disturbed help. Especially when that mentally disturbed individual is not living under your roof and they are an adult. None of us know what her parents did or did not try to do to try to help her. No one knows if she was really abused or not. All we have, AGAIN, is the word of a demented woman who will say anything to get away with murdering Travis. Not the most credible source.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: